So hi everyone. I haven't been on constantly in about, I think, a year now. It may have even been longer I'm not sure. I'm sorry for that..for the people who actually care about me to see me leave for so long. But I might be back, I'm not sure yet.
I just wanted to inform some of you people on my life.
Two years ago, my parents got divorced. It has been one of the hardest things ever to deal with, but I'm managing. To add on to that stress, my brother is a complete idiot. He hasn't gone and done drugs or anything but he is just acting stupid all the time. He just turned 18 and is going to college next year but he acts like he's 3. He doesn't do what he's told, doesn't have a job, and doesn't even consider helping out around the house. All he does is sleep all day and only gets up to eat, which he hardly does anyway. Most nights I would come home from school and him and my mom would be yelling at each other and I could do nothing but sit in my room and cry. The worst part is, throughout all of this, I've had no one. I have another brother, but he lives with my dad and I only get to see him on certain occasions. He's going to be a junior in college which means I won't get to see him at all. Other than him, I have my dog who I've grown really close and am basically going to die when she dies in the upcoming years. I don't have a best friend. I have a couple of guy friends and girl friends but none of those ones who would stay up late just to get me through my problems. With all this going on, I resorted to cutting. It seemed like the only way to escape from all the yelling and all the drama that was going on at the time. I didn't cut on my wrists, just on my shins so it looked like I accidentally did it while shaving. I finally told my mom about it and she seemed to understand, not what I was going through, but what I was feeling. And through everything, I had taken a certain liking to a particular boy band named One Direction.
I know what you're thinking, "This is stupid. I'm not going to read on because One Direction is a gay boy band who can't sing and is famous for their looks." See, if you actually took the time to research them and watch thousands of videos on them, I think you would think otherwise. They make me so happy, it's kind of ridiculous. You would say I was obsessed with them, but I would say I am dedicated. I recently went to their TMH Tour concert at my states capital city, and it was literally the best day of my life. When my dad and I first got to our hotel, we were set out to find their hotel. We did a little investigating on photos and other things that had been posted and found the hotel that they were staying at. We drove there as quickly as we possibly could and got their just in time for Harry to walk out. I got a picture of him waving to us, but he didn't stop over to get a picture or anything because he had to go to sound check. That made me sad that we couldn't get pictures, but I thought it was okay because I still had the concert to look forward to. After he got into the bus, we ran to our car and managed to get behind the bus as it was going onto the highway. We followed it THE ENTIRE WAY to the arena. People tried to cut in front of my dads car to get behind it but he wouldn't let them. He knew how important it was to me and how happy this dude made me. We were behind him until the bus had to go into the back of the arena, which then we were directed to the exit. My dad drove crazy and somehow got us into the parking lot right behind where the buses were parked. We tried to run over there, but got yelled at by some security guards saying that this parking lot was closed. We ended up having to go back to our hotel to relax for a bit until the actual concert. There was a massive line when we got there, and it took us nearly 30 minutes to get in. By that time, the opening act, 5 Seconds of Summer, had just started. They were great, but then came the real act. I didn't have like floor seats, actually ones super far away, but it felt like they were right next to me. I'm not rich like some of the girls who get front row seats just because they asked their parents. I had to work for my tickets, even though they were crappy as all can be. The concert in a whole was amazing. Even though we were far away, I got some nice pictures of the boys and was really excited about them. Maybe I'll even post a couple. But in total, That day made me so happy, and ever since then I haven't even thought about cutting. Now, I'm trying my hardest to get noticed on twitter by the boys or one of the 5SOS boys. Even though I went to their concert and was literally 20 feet away from Harry Styles, they still don't know I even exist. I guess that's the hardest part about falling in love with someone famous. You can try and try and try but they still may never notice you. I'm okay with it though, I learned that there are literally millions of other girls who are in the same boat as me, and we refuse to sink.
I'm not sure why I told you that entire story, it just seemed important I guess. It's summer, and in a couple days I'm going to see my relatives up north. I'm super excited about that because I haven't seen some of them in over a year.
I'm not sure if you care about everything I just told you, but I just wanted to update the people that do and say that I'm still alive because it seemed like I disappeared.
Mood: dA Love
Listening to: Same Mistakes x One DIrection